


I know

by Velikyun



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 02:36:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17972858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velikyun/pseuds/Velikyun
Summary: I know what's going on on your mindI know why you don't wanna be hereI know you just wanna say "f*ck you" to the worldI knowBecause I was there with you





	I know

**Author's Note:**

> Did this at night after telling my dad I f*cked up my math test
> 
> I'm trying my best to cheer myself up  
> So this is what I do instead
> 
> Trigger Warning

Why do you have to care about what anyone thinks of you 

Why do you have to care what people say you shoukd do 

Why should you do what people ask of you 

It's not fair for you

Even I can't handle it

Do you wanna know why you should just ignore it   
Why you should just close your ears and say nonsense words to drown the painful words 

 

Because I know

I know that you're hurting

I know that you don't wanna hear it but you can't make them stop

I know that mother asks you to study physics and math eveb though you don't like, hate it even

I know that everytime you don't do what she asks, she'd beat you up, lock you in the basement  
Ignoring your cries

I know that, even when you left her, you're still traumatized

I know that when you're adopted into a new family, your dad asks the same thing to you

I know that everyday, you just wanna die

I know that everyday you take a knife or a razor and paint a red theme colour on your skin

I know that  
And I always try to stop you  
From hurting too much  
From losing you

I know you don't have any energy to start the day

I know you're sick and tired of everything

I know you don't want to be an adult

Because

 

You have no idea what you want to do

Everyone keeps telling you to be something good  
Something better  
A doctor  
An engineer  
A scientist  
A founder  
Anything that is the top tier of the world

But

I know you can't handle it

You don't have the guts to open up a dying person and heal them  
You don't have the heart to see them die in your hands

You don't have the curious hands to make things from scratch  
You don't have enough brain capacity to think of formulas when the only thing you can think about is how you manage to live this long

You don't have the patience to wait for different results in the same room  
You want to go out and experience life, not stay in a single room

You don't have the courage to manage a business  
Because your tiny bit of self-confidence has been destroyed by mother and your bullies

 

You're not prepared for any of this

But, of course  
How could you deny any of it from your family

It hurts  
I know

I know that i haven't been the perfect 'brother figure' that you wished for

But just know that

 

I'm here

And I don't care what you become

Just know that

I'm proud of you

Even if the world despise you

 

Just know that

 

I'll be there when you want to let everything out

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading


End file.
